WRITING
writer for bluekeys magazine
always writing for my personal work collection, new essays published here and on my substack
november 14, 2024America is complacent not because it is lazy, America is complacent because our energy is directed into silly cycles of delusion and false deliverance. We are herded down paths that feed the ego and starve our souls. We paint new names over the same broken buildings. We are afraid to destroy and forgot how to build. We must realize our inherent abilities to create change, we must communicate with one another as fellow humans and redirect our everyday actions so that our energy is not leaking through the tears or getting blocked by the knots in that great fabric of threads connecting us all.
october 21, 2024I want to grab life and shake it all up until the sediment settles down between the big rocks and I can walk barefoot upon the passage connecting here to now. A million colors of heat splitting from the sun to keep alive the spaces they dance upon. I'm finding myself unable to express these things of the spirit through language. They're purely somatic, lay me down supine straight spine like a book whose words got up from their paper graves to dance out their meaning.
august 25, 2024The electricity running through body and mind expand beyond them both and create fields of energy that surround each organism. The flow or stagnation of your inner circuitry also creates flow or stagnation in the field around you, and it will influence the field’s of other creatures and objects. Likewise, theirs may affect yours. Many of the things you feel are not originating from you but are from external forces entering your realm of awareness. The sun at dusk makes you sleepy, the vultures circling overhead signal death nearby and activate subtle survival instincts, the scent of horse shit churns your stomach. Remember this when you feel strange and can’t decide why. It’s likely the invisible fields around you acting in ways that feel like friction against yours.
june 10, 2024being ready and open for anything includes being ready for nothing. listen deeper, listen deeper. trust your feet. your body knows how to find what it needs. you can pretend there is magic here too for now, tracing all that you see back to where it came from. where was it before it was here? who gave it to your sight? you can think about each movement you make and fill the time with space. you can rewrite the details destroyed in summaries.
january 21, 2024living in a chamber of your heart, a little bunny we call anxiety shivers with wide, unblinking eyes in a body that jumps every time its senses receive a signal. the bunny is the master of the heart, although it is unaware of this fact. and the heart is the master of your mind and body. the bunny flutters around all day, terrified of everything, always on edge awaiting some unknown disaster.
january 16, 2024 it feels like the end, i know. and it is, it’s the end of the ways we’ve known for our brief lives. it’s the end and it’s the beginning of something we don’t yet understand. it’s been like this always, this cycle of golden ages and recessions and scary new technologies. we’ve invented a new way of being human once again, and this time the fear is that what we’ve created will out-human us. how could that be? if ai can only see with our vision, does it have blind spots too? we are always trying to see beyond our sight, into the future and past, into distant galaxies and to the center of the earth, into the minds of others. will ai see what is hidden from my vision, will it fill in my blind spots?
theory of everything
december 23, 2023 if each effect is created by a cause, then the theory should include every cause and its effect. this includes the effect of forming theories of the universe like the string theory, the god particle, big bang, etc and their corresponding causes. the theory of everything is every theory, every thought, every gust of wind and star explosion. the theory of the universe is an equation in which every thought/action is both another variable and the answer.
october 31, 2023will my almost involuntary phone-checking feel like a missing organ, a pinging desire to grasp something outside of themselves to fulfill that unconscious action? lifelong habits, how will they manifest in my children as adapted versions of my unconscious? my conscious habits will become their unconscious programming. do you get the game?
september 28, 2023 if landfills could scream, i imagine the sound would burst our eardrums. there is so much noise already, all the time. the hum of rattling atoms, screaming in their cages of time and space. what holds them together? those poor plastic packages, stuck in their form longer than we will be in ours. to live in 2023 is to be quick and efficient, to measure every activity down to the second. 40 seconds of this exercise, 180 seconds to brush your teeth, 30 seconds in the microwave and exactly 25 seconds for the coffee.
august 18, 2023i begin the same place i end. between borders of bones, highways of veins, caves of teeth, my soul resides. i've been thinking about the way my tongue feels against the stones in my mouth, a dwelling for spit rivers and food scraps. an ecosystem, teeth growing out of my gums the same way rocks grow out of the dirt. aside from the notions we construct with our unseeable thoughts of the way things in the world entwine, there are no real boundaries between the teeth in my gums and the rocks in the dirt.