How Can We Use Anxiety To Our Advantage?

NOTABLE POINTS OF DISCUSSION:

distinguishing between the beneficial/rational anxiety telling us something needs to happen/change vs. the irrational, overthinking fear based anxiety that is fed by unnecessary external factors
finding the balance between doing too much vs too little is extremely personal and should be explored by each individual according to their specific circumstances
it is necessary to schedule dedicated time to undistracted periods of rest
reframing uncomfortable experiences as opportunities for growth
instead of avoiding the feeling of anxiety and trying to get rid of it, we should listen to where it is coming from, allow ourselves to feel it fully, and trace it back to what it is trying to tell us in order to take the best steps to address those needs

QUESTIONS WITHOUT CLEAR ANSWERS:

why does anxiety visit you, and what remedies to you use to soothe it?
is taking anxiety medication the best route for one with excessive anxiety, or would it be more beneficial long term to find natural ways to reduce it?
is social media/modern technology to blame for the uprise in reported anxiety/adhd/related symptoms, and if so how can we combat that? is it even our problem to address, or should the companies running these platforms be held responsible and change their methods?

RELEVANT MEDIA:

THE GENERAL CONSENSUS:
(this is an article i wrote sometime in 2023, but it encapsulates much of what was discussed at our meeting)
living in a chamber of your heart, a little bunny we call anxiety shivers with wide, unblinking eyes in a body that jumps every time its senses receive a signal. the bunny is the master of the heart, although it is unaware of this fact. and the heart is the master of your mind and body. the bunny flutters around all day, terrified of everything, always on edge awaiting some unknown disaster. we feel her in her chamber, moving around so much it sometimes feels like she’ll jump right through the walls. the heart, feeling her uneasiness, tightens up the cage of bones around itself and tells the mind to run its way to safety. and the mind says okay, but the monkey living in the brain is coming with me (in reality, the monkey is the one dragging the mind along with it, but the mind refuses to accept this). the monkey likes what all monkeys like, banana bread and cool shoes and spinning in circles till they get sick. so the monkey and the mind run all over town trying to find safety for the heart in the things monkey likes, wine and pretty people and anything that’s fast or shiny. and all this action makes the bunny tremble a little more. the cycle keeps turning, the heart calling to the mind for help, and the monkey steering the mind off in all different directions causing the bunny to freak out and cry for more help. but what if instead of following the monkey, you ignored it and chose to move as if there really were a small scared animal watching you from its hiding place? you want it to know that it’s okay to rest there, it’s okay to come out. walk slowly, softly, intentionally. use your hands with reason and purpose. give yourself time to wake up, drink some water, eat breakfast, move your body gently as if you were learning how to use it for the first time. consume music less frequently to hear your own frequency. allow silence its time, let it come whenever silences would’ve naturally occurred before we had endless ways of masking it with noise. silence has a purpose. understand that the way to calm the bunny is by creating a relationship with it, a slow progression of building trust. you cannot kick her out of yourself, you cannot ignore her needs. bring her to a big field where she can roam in the sunlight. give her good meals, let her chew them slowly and clean the dishes when she’s done. let her walk beside you at her own pace, let her decide whether to turn left or right, let her walk until she’s all tired out and then carry her home. and if you live this way, slow and gentle and patient, she’ll start to feel at home. but sometimes it’s much deeper than taking magnesium and turning off the phone. sometimes you follow all the instructions in the anxiety bunny care manual and yet still, under thin blankets of night, the bunny twitches and kicks inside the tight cage of cold ribs. i think here, the missing piece is loving acceptance. by that, i mean allowing all of the things you are doing for the bunny to be done for the sake of loving it and accepting its place in your heart, allowing it to be scared and jump all around while you watch it with kind eyes. not doing these things just because you’re afraid of scaring the bunny. not judging it, not trying to trick it into trusting you or injecting it with tranquilizers. it cannot feel safe if it senses that you are only doing kind things out of fear. walking gently not because you are trying to move in secret, hiding the sound of your steps in fear of being caught and startling the bunny. walking gently because you like how it feels to move with grace and power. you love the way you can use your legs with great care as if your body were an instrument, tuning its movements to compose symphonies of actions, of cooking and yoga, dancing and working and walking. songs like tomato soup and downward dog. all coming together in a melody of movements. the bunny listening to them all. your role in the relationship is not to hover over the bunny, constantly watching it like a helicopter parent. your job is to create a safe space for it to live in, a cozy room with blackout curtains, good bedding and soft lights. keep it clean and warm. be mindful of who is allowed inside (monkey likes to throw ragers). let the bunny be inspired by you, let it learn how to live by watching you live. and in time, the trust will come and two will become one, harmonizing together in a rhythm of the senses. your breath will open the rib cage, the heart will expand with love, and the bunny will sleep with you under thick blankets of night, warm in its home of bones.